Some people are transformed and rejuvenated by meditation. I’ve heard people talk about out-of-body, transcendental encounters with God and spirit where colors look brighter, the world is perfect and ultimate love exudes from every pore of their being. I am not one of these people.

Meditation is nice, but I often find myself looking for meaning in my savasana which defeats the purpose entirely. When I fail at finding meaning, my brain moves on — I force my focus onto meditating. Then at least I can relax my physical body but my mind still reels. Any kind of coercion tactic my brain uses, of course, fails too and then I finally resort to making grocery lists, picking out my outfit for the next day, wondering why my foot is falling asleep, and did you hear that mosquito? Because I did. In the end I’m distracted by the guy next to me who is breathing so heavy I think he might be a little too into this and OH MY GOSH this instructor sounds bored. 

See what I’m saying?

I hope I find the missing link soon because I feel like I’ve attempted to show up to the meditation party for a long time and STILL somehow I’m always in the wrong place. 


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