In an ambitious effort to slenderize and get my fit on, I decided today that I’d start taking the stairs all the way up to my office every day instead of taking a lazy elevator up the nine floors.
This started out great, I’ll have you know! I was smiling, was having a good hair day, my shirt was pressed and I looked pretty put-together for once. I felt excited about my new personal challenge when I got to the stairwell entrance, and gleefully began my steady, bouncy jog up the steps.
First floor – check mate!
Second floor – like nothing!
Third floor – not even breaking a sweat!
Fourth floor – feel the burn… just a little… brush it off, brush it off!
By the fifth floor I start getting concerned by the sparse presence of AC vents in this place… What’s a girl to do in a predicament like this?! I certainly hope we’re equipped to have oxygen masks drop from the ceiling! I’m about to volley my purse and lunch bag across the landing in a fit of abandon because CLEARLY that’s what’s inhibiting my ability to make this trek.
BUT I continue at my pace because yes, I’m really that stubborn. The higher I get the more humid, dank, and hot it feels. This place feels like a sauna but there’s no stopping now because ALL the doors leading out of the stairwell are keyed entry and my badge only unlocks the door on the 9th floor. Good idea, Erin!
Sixth floor – I’m totally winded and quickly moving into Brat Mode. My ankles are hurting, I think I have a blister, my breakfast is about to make a reappearance, and I’m wondering how long I’d have to sit here before someone comes looking for me. Maybe if I didn’t forsake my lunch back on Floor 5 I’d at least have some trail mix to snack on!
Seventh floor – Must… keep… going!
Floor eight! I power through the last flight of stairs to reach the ninth floor and I feel like I’m about to black out, for real. I need oxygen, water, electrolytes, I need to carbo load – I don’t even know! Now I look like I’m homeless. My hair is disheveled, my shirt got wrinkled while I was wrestling all my luggage up the stairs, and I smell like a locker room.
This was like my Everest… I think I might sell the movie rights.